28 Jul Someday
Who am I? Well I’m the same person as before, but I’m one hundred percent different. So I guess I’m not the same person. It’s not like I did anything major. It happens one day at a time. I had a dream. I had an idea and at first I thought, “Eh, this is cool. I’ll finish writing my book someday.” Someday isn’t real.
This idea of waiting for something someday helped me push myself down. I’m still a firm believer that patience is a necessary virtue for success but recently I’ve realized how much I’ve actually wanted my dream. It’s hard to be patient. I noticed how little I did in the way of making it happen. I wasn’t making it happen right now. I kept thinking, “I’ll write after I do this thing”, “maybe I’ll get time this weekend”, “I’ll get to it tomorrow”. I always hated the phrase “live like there’s no tomorrow” because it inherently sounds negative. I prefer Ghandi’s version, “Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” But it’s true. What if there is no tomorrow and your thoughts, dreams, and ideas died with you?
It made me think, what is success? Really, what is it? For a long period of time I just wanted money, I wanted to stop sleeping on a couch. I didn’t want to work because work because it was, well, work. And I let it destroy me mentally and physically, to the point of doubting my abilities.
But this again, was an excuse. I was letting extenuating circumstances keep me from following my dreams. Only I can motivate myself. I had to stop letting my circumstances affect my mood. I realized that my happiness and attitude was a decision that I had to make every single day. Only I can make myself happy and only I can tell myself how to get there.
Work shouldn’t be a negative word. Work should be something you yearn for every morning. I’ve changed my mindset. Success isn’t a physical observation, you can’t see success. Each and everyday I wake up I genuinely believe I’m successful now. I’m still broke, I’m still inexperienced, and I’m still failing others and myself at times. But when I look in the mirror at the end of the day, I’m proud of myself. I’m successful because I’m trying. I’m doing something that I love. If I never make a dime writing, I’m still over-the-moon that I discovered something I couldn’t live without. I can’t allow myself to pass from this world without leaving a mark on it.
I’m not trying to say I’m uber successful or anything like that. I just wanted to speak to what I’ve noticed about myself and about others that I want to emulate. When you look at yourself in the mirror, do you like who you see? Are you proud of the work ethic you exhibited today? Stop thinking about someday and start thinking about today. What can I do today that will benefit others or myself tomorrow? If you haven’t found what makes you happy, the thing you’ll work day and night for, keep searching. It’s awesome when you find something you truly enjoy working on.